1. Your nose is so finely tuned to the smell of poo you can even pre-empt a dirty nappy.
Maybe it’s just me but everything smells of poo these days. I don’t think twice about going up behind someone and sniffing their bum. Every odd odour requires full investigation until someone confesses.
2. You have superhuman upper arm strength.
Two kids later my gym membership days seem a distant memory. Apart from my Sunday run the only exercise I get is running after the kids! However, it turns out that carting around a pre-toddler actually tones your arms much more than any new-fangled exercise routine. Pity it’s not really symmetrical!
3.You talk to your kids in the style of Mr Tumble.
Entertaining comments need a “That’s funnyyyyyyy” and I don’t like it any more “IIIIIIII love it!”. Leaving the house goes something like this….”Goodbye, goodbye, it’s time to run…..”
4. Strangers can guess the age of your child based on the length of your regrowing hair.
At 11 months my regrowing hair is approximately 2 inches long. Blow dry it and it sticks straight up in the air. After my first child I would have gone to the hairdressers to try to improve it. Now, after my second child I’m just ignoring it. I imagine if I have any more children I’ll not even notice!
5. You start thinking about having another baby.
Your cute little newborn has outgrown the mums and tots baby area and is gaining their independence. They’ll squirm out of cuddles (unless they’re ill) and they start to lay down the ground rules – while letting you pretend you’re still in charge. Somehow the exhaustion and madness of last year has been forgotten…..and you’re walking around wearing rose tinted glasses.